


when love arrives

by checkmateslash



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Depressed Keith, Depression, Eating Disorders, I'm Sorry, M/M, Suicide Attempt, eating disorder lance, essentially a song fic except for a spoken word piece, keith and lance meet in 7th grade and then shit happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 12:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10101719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/checkmateslash/pseuds/checkmateslash
Summary: Keith and Lance knew exactly what love looked like in seventh grade.But when love finally showed up, it was in the form of the boy from gym class who liked to play dirty during relay races. The boy who unabashedly punched him in the face, who tugged at his hair, who choked his neck, who pulled at his clothes.And then laughed at how disheveled and stupid they looked when they got sent to the principal’s office later.





	

**Author's Note:**

> please listen to when love arrives by sarah kay and phil kaye. <3 as it's super amazing and this fic is very heavily based off of it.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdJ6aUB2K4g&t=205s

Keith knew exactly what love looked like in seventh grade. 

 

He hadn’t met him yet, but Keith would most certainly recognize him the second he walked through the doors of Keith’s homeroom; love wore a hemp necklace and wore Heely’s, and love could play the guitar like that one boy at lunch but knew songs  _ other  _ than Wonderwall. And he would definitely like to ride the bus, because  _ Keith  _ rode the bus to school every day and that was absolutely a priority for them to spend time with each other outside of school that way. 

 

Lance also knew what love looked like in seventh grade; she had long hair tied up in a French braid like the girl from history class, blue eyes like the girl from language arts, and freckles like the girl from mathematics. She would laugh at Lance’s jokes and would blush every time he called her beautiful. She would let him walk her to class and let him push loose hair behind her ear. And love would call him when he got home every day to tell him that she missed him and couldn’t wait to see him at school the next day.

 

They were both just searching the wrong halls, the wrong classrooms, but both of them knew they would find it soon. 

 

But when love finally showed up, it was in the form of the boy from gym class who liked to play dirty during relay races. The boy who unabashedly punched him in the face, who tugged at his hair, who choked his neck, who pulled at his clothes.

And then laughed at how disheveled and stupid they looked when they got sent to the principal’s office later. 

 

Keith had an awful  _ mullet  _ and Lance couldn’t play the guitar, Keith never walked Lance to class and Lance  _ hated  _ riding the bus. Instead, somehow their teeth always got in the way when they kissed and Keith would call Lance when he got home to ask him about  _ homework _ . Keith didn’t have rhythm on the dance floor for  _ anything  _ but still danced to slow songs because he knew it made Lance happy. Lance took them both to the mall and bought them  _ both  _ Heely’s with the money he’d earned from walking dogs. 

 

In eighth grade love grew and flourished. Love took Lance by the hand and told him he looked  _ beautiful _ . Love ran to Keith’s house with an old, pawn-shop guitar to play  _ 21 Guns  _ by Green Day.

 

And then ninth grade came along and love went to a different school. And love stretched. And love strained. And then love snapped and disappeared.

For four years love looked like Keith keeping his distance from the boy playing guitar in the quad. Love looked like Lance’s style of flirting was too fit for someone else, someone too specific. Keith couldn’t listen to Green Day on his iPod without feeling the need to lock himself in the bathroom. Lance couldn’t call a girl beautiful without his voice cracking. Love stayed away for years. 

  
  
  


When love arrived again in college they barely recognized it. With freckles on cheeks, and broader shoulders, and sadder eyes, and a quieter voice. Long gone were the days of Loudmouth Lance. Long gone were the days of Temperamental Keith. Love had songs that reminded him of someone else, had songs he didn’t like to listen to. And had new favorite books Keith would curl up in Lance’s bed reading, and new songs Lance would play on the guitar. Now, love made chocolate chip cookies, even though most of the batter was eaten before they were put in the oven. Love signed the lease for their new shared apartment. Love had sheets rumpled and white wine in the refrigerator and a bong on the kitchen table. Love had birthdays at clubs, love got kicked out of clubs for starting a fight, love didn’t look at each other for a week. Lance is a terrible driver but a great navigator. Keith knows where he’s going and it takes  _ two times as quick as usual to get there.  _

 

Lance chews too loud. 

 

Keith always forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste.

 

Lance never washes his dishes. 

 

Keith never makes the bed when he gets up after Lance in the morning.

 

Lance says the word “ _ boobs”  _ at the dinner table with Keith’s adoptive parents. 

 

Keith  _ unabashedly  _ picks on Lance’s homophobic grandmother during the holidays.

 

Love shits. 

  
  
  


But love also cries. 

 

Sometimes Keith wakes up in the morning and wishes he hadn’t. Sometimes he stays in bed for days. Sometimes Lance has to call in to work for him. Sometimes he gets fired and the electricity goes out because Lance isn’t making enough to pay all the bills. Sometimes Keith yells at Lance even though he knows Lance is just trying to help. Sometimes he goes to work and hides in his cubicle the whole time and doesn’t actually do work. Sometimes he has to walk home because he missed the last bus.

 

Sometimes Lance skips meals and Keith doesn’t notice until he finds the food in the trash later. Sometimes Lance will lock himself in the bathroom for over an hour and stare at himself in the mirror. Sometimes he yells at Keith when Keith snaps and tells him that he  _ needs to eat something.  _ Sometimes there isn’t a lot of food in the pantry but there’s lots of skinny teas and meal replacements. Sometimes he has to sit down at work because he feels faint, one time he actually  _ does  _ faint. 

  
  
  


And love also tells him he’s beautiful and means it.

 

When Keith hasn’t gotten up for 5 days and hasn’t showered in 7; “ _ You’re beautiful.” _

 

When Lance tugs his shirt off facing away from Keith;  _ “You’re beautiful.” _

 

When Keith finally hauls himself out of bed to shower and make Lance food;  _ “You’re beautiful.” _

 

When Lance smiles and eats the food without a second thought because Keith made it;  _ “You’re beautiful.” _

 

When neither of them believe it, when either of them had just been crying, when either of them don’t want to hear it.

 

Over and over and over. Love still thinks…

 

_ “You’re beautiful.” _

  
  
  


And when love can’t take it anymore, and Keith wants to leave, but not even leave, just  _ leave _ , Lance doesn’t know what to do. 

 

Hospital visits are hard, but Keith still looks beautiful with his wrists bandaged and his skin pale and his hair greasy. After two days Lance doesn’t look much better, worn and thin and tired. The trip home is quiet, Lance won’t leave Keith alone for more than five minutes and only eats to make sure Keith does. 

 

“I can’t do this anymore.” 

 

“Do what?”

 

“This. Any of this. Life. A relationship. Work. You. Me. I’m  _ tired. _ ” 

 

Lance cries but says nothing. Love hates when love cries but Keith can’t help how he feels. Maybe love stays.

 

Love always fought but not like this. Love was explosive, love was passive aggressive, but fighting never felt sad and tired. Oh. Maybe love can’t.

 

“Is it something I did? Is it me?” 

 

“It’s never been  _ about you.  _ Why do you have to make everything about yourself?” 

 

And, maybe love shouldn’t. 

 

“So… what? Do you want me to leave?” 

 

“I’ll pack.” 

 

So love packs its bags. And love looks back…

 

Lance says; “Come back soon.” 

 

And love walks out the door. 

  
_ But love still says, “Thank you, for stopping by.” _

**Author's Note:**

> please listen to when love arrives by sarah kay and phil kaye. <3 as it's super amazing and this fic is very heavily based off of it.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdJ6aUB2K4g&t=205s


End file.
